Parents are under a lot of pressure to educate and teach their kids socially appropriate behaviour by maintaining order at home. Strategic positive discipline is an important aspect in any parent or children's life and yet for many parents, it is still unclear how it can be achieved. The creation of a positive discipline plan supports parents by giving a reliable foundation and guidance. It also enables parents to use positive tools to create a stable and loving environment for their children, a skill that can be quickly learnt.
According to the American Academy of Paediatrics /AAP (2018), "Optimal child development requires the active engagement of adults who, among other functions, teach children about acceptable behaviour. The word "discipline" is derived from the Latin word "disciplinare," meaning to teach or train, as in disciple (a follower or student of a teacher, leader, or philosopher). Effective disciplinary strategies, appropriate to a child's age and development, teach the child to regulate his or her behaviour; keep him or her from harm; enhance his or her cognitive, socio-emotional, and executive functioning skills; and reinforce the behavioural patterns taught by the child's parents and caregivers."
The AAP further states that negative discipline "increases aggression and anger instead of teaching responsibility and self-control."Based on these facts, we as parents should feel encouraged to try positive discipline, to manage childhood behaviour.
Positive discipline plans include areas such as:
1. We set firm but kind boundaries, which make the child feel safe and secure
2. We provide the child with dialogue and reasoning, which educates the child to make smart choices.
3. We offer alternatives to children/young adults to choose from, which empowers the child and gives them a voice, and confidence to make choices.
4. We reinforce children's appropriate behaviour with praise that leads to a content child wanting to act positively.
5. We avoid comparisons; this teaches our children to concentrate on their abilities and be aware and confident of their skills.
6. We set routines; continuity leads to a relaxed environment and our children do not need to worry if they know what lies ahead of them.
7. We work on a stable sleep pattern which is vital for a child's physical and mental development.
8. We manage Screen time and avoid smart devices in the bedroom and during meals or family time
to encourage real-life experiences, which provide our children with the skills to be happy adults.
9. We keep an eye on the sugar intake of our children; sugar does not only lead to bad teeth and weight gain but does affect our brain and its function, affecting concentration.
10. We avoid overscheduling our life, in an attempt to live a balanced life. Our children should learn from early days how beneficial an outstanding work/life balance is. Part of this will be the planning of age-appropriate chores, but also fun time activities.
Every child and every parent is different; therefore, the approach to parenting must be individually tailored to the circumstances and environment the child matures in.
It is highly recommended and effective to work with a professional on strategies to develop a positive discipline plan that is firm but kind that children learn to respect and follow willingly while building resilience. Be a proactive parent and book your 15-minute free consultation session by clicking on the link below.
Arlette Shohmelian is a parent coach and mother of two with experience helping parents and children build their interactions successfully and receive more of her tried-and-tested parenting tips. Feel free to follow her on Social media.
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